Nothing's going right.
Saturday, August 16, 2008 @ 4:18 PM
Today's been a dark and gloomy day, the sky's pastel-grey and the wind's just blowing very hesitantly.. My whole life feels like it has been dimmed upon suddenly. I've been feeling down ever since early afternoon, since the moment i woke up. How ecstatic can you feel like if your mum wakes you up, shouting into your ear that you've slept more than half your day away, and doesn't even consider that you've been sleeping for less than 4 hours every single day for 2 weeks? I try to do happy things, like visiting Arron's blog, then Fahrenheit's-- but they're all not updated. It really feels like everything's dying in the world, and this pessimistic view just sets in all for me. I don't like being so restless, hopeless and so darn vulnerable sometimes. I'm not supposed to be this way, or maybe i'm just hiding from the cruel face of reality, before it grabs and gets hold of me, and starts rotting my soul away.
I really love to see your face; it's everywhere in my mind.., but once i start thinking, once my senses start working away, i get into melancholy...and i begin to feel distraught. My mood is once again, affected. And when i hear your voice, i feel like i'm suddenly drained out of energy, as i slowly seep into this vacuum called depression. I'm going out of my mind.., & it's all because of you.
Nothing's going right. Projects have been screwed, group mates have been annoying the shiat outta me, friends have been thorough hypocrites, and all i can do is tolerate. But, for how long? Guess this is life, huh.- this wonderful thing called life. Many have come and gone, and this bitter-sweet world just isn't making me feel any better. A silver lining? Haven't seen it yet, how disappointing. Coming up is IDE, thereafter would be promos. I still don't see sunshine after this horrendous downpour. A little bit longer, and i'll be fine, i guess. But really, how long should i wait?
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//Every time I think I'm closer to the heart
What it means to know just who I am
I think I finally found a better place to start
No one ever seems to understand
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be you're not that far?
You're the remedy im searching hard to find
To fix the puzzle that I see inside
Painting all my dreams the color of your smile
When I find you it will be alright
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be you're not that far?
You're the voice I hear inside my head,
The reason that im singing.
I need to find you
Gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need,
The song inside of me.
I need to find you
I gotta find you//
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Where are you?
'Cause i'm looking really hard to get to you.
& the heavens start crying,
my tears keep denying,
but i'm really trying to suppress these feelings inside of me.
& i still cannot believe i said my first F*** already.
'cause reality cuts into my life, i'm disillusioned.
my innocence is scraped. thanks a lot.
the day's twice as long without you.
each day without you is a year of misery..
i've lived approximately 294 years without your presence.., & i'm stuck.