I haven't been here forever, for ages, for a long long time... about two years, to be exact. I don't know why but I just had a sudden urge to start documenting my life here again..or rather, let off some steam, some frustration and some sorrows. Fast-forwarding two years into my life, I realized I have left a big gap unrecorded in words and writing. The two whole Junior College years. They must have been the most exhilerating and enjoyable moments of my life -- at least up till now. No wonder I never found the time or need to reflect here like I am now doing. Right now I am flooded with heaps and tons and never-ending ceaseless dumps of assignments, tests, tutorials and readings. But all I really want to do now is to pause for a moment and take a breather. (I guess that's why I didn't resist the urge to pop by here and revive this little private place of mine.) I am unfinished with my preparation for a presentation, and although I know this is probably going to be a huge waste of time penning down my thoughts here, I'd rather be here than doing anything else. At least for now. This temporary release. University life had never occured to me to be so insane, so exhausting and just so life-draining.. I feel like every moment a bit of me is slowly being sucked away, destroyed into dust, and its particles float and vanish into nothing. I can be bright and cheery in the morning, but by noon everything dies down. The mood and the joy and.. All I can think of is how am I supposed to do all these insurmountable things by whenever they are due? And I realize that I can't. Not that I don't try. But it's just so, so, so much. They say things will only get better.. But you know what, I'd love to think this way, but they don't. Each time you keep the faith that things will turn for the unexpected, for the positive, everything just continues tumbling down. And what goes downhill falls faster. It's just one month in but it foreshadows a bleak future. And as abrupt as I hope not to be, it's time to get back to my work again.. for tomorrow is a Friday, but a Friday just means a transition to a Saturday consumed by work and a Sunday packed with anxiety about the pile of work left undone. And it all begins again...there is no end...till the world does.