Have been binging lately, why oh whyyyyy! I think I have a love-hate relationship with binge-eating. On one hand it really feels wonderful to be stuffing myself helpless with all the food that I madly love, but on the other, it feels so uncomfortable and guilty after the aftereffects of bloatedness and those extra weight sets in. I found a new love (ok, maybe not so new, but just that it became more apparent these days) for munching on Milo powder. Perhaps I feel less guilty because it is Milo, and not other unhealthy snacks like chocolate or chips, and the "Healthier Choice" logo on the tin does provide me that slight bit of comfort. But still, looking at the nutritional description frightens me inevitable (but that still doesn't stop me from constantly yanking the tin open for more doses of that sweet delicious powder). It is energy, rather than fats, I try to convince myself. Just like having a cup of coffee or Red Bull to energize myself, no? Oh well, like any other addictions or cravings, I just patiently hope that this one will die off soon. Real soon (before I decide to grab a tin off the shelves at a supermart one day to entertain my cravings at hall frequently).

On a slightly happier note, I have fallen in love with a new Korean drama recently (maybe not so recently, but my love for it calcified as I watched it more). "Padam Padam", which means "thump thump" in French. Now, don't let the characterization of Korean drama taint your perception of what this drama is going to be like - typical lovey-dovey, face many obstacles, then getting together and living happily ever after. This particular one is not. It expresses so many of the dilemmas and conflicts in life, even with its sub-fantasy like plot (that's if you don't believe in guardian angels, but I think I want to), and it wrenches my heart to know how I actually related to these issues that had laid so deep and far-etched in the corners of my heart. I don't really care about how high the ratings of the show was, because compared to many other idol dramas, this manner of distinction doesn't do justice to the greatness of this show and the amazement it brought me. The entire cast of the drama left me completely breathless, as I witnessed how exceptionally talented each of them was and how their roles complemented the others so flawlessly. I was honestly deeply touched by every single one of them and every scene of the movie-like experience. I admit I haven't been that much of an avid K-drama fan (mostly due to lack of time), but among all the K-dramas and even English/HongKong dramas I have watched, I dare say this can definitely triumph over the rest. The issues brought forth aren't the typical and common ones usually raised by others, but are those that dig deep and into the uneasy realms of humanity. I wish I could say more to explain how strongly moved I was and still am by this masterpiece, but I'd like to leave it to any interested ones out there to experience what I had on your own. I know how it feels like to bring one's expectations sky-high and thereafter making it more likely to cause disappointment. So, do check it out if you're that bit interested! I'm not promoting it or whatsoever; I'm just justifying my love for this particular outstanding drama that I'm going to get hold of the DVD for my own enjoyment for future purposes. ;)

Have been looking through old photos again, recently. Seems like it's one of my favourite pasttimes since university life started. I hope that's normal - to be missing my JC life, life as a younger teenager and basically having an easier (relatively) and more structured and planned life. As I progress into adulthood (as much as I hate to acknowledge it) and begin to leave the teenage years slowly (though I still insist on insisting I am still 18), I start to realize how much problems and worries I would progressively have to be concerned with as I grow older. Taking up more responsibilities that I had taken for granted and managing more mundane areas of survival (making payments, checking bills... and the list drones on). Basically stuff that I had perpetually overlooked and ignored and relied on my mum to settle. All these are slowly creeping in and they intimidate me. I don't want to become an adult...!! :( It's not like I haven't had enough worries and stressful matters to deal with academically and emotionally already. I don't want to be more independent; I just want to remain a child.., forever. Life would be so much simpler and enjoyable. This is where people will start to mock me for all these #firstworldtroubles, I know, but honestly, they are no fun. I wonder if the rest of my peers do actually face these worries like I do, or am I being overly timid and lazy to face up to all these? Sometimes I just want to hide in my cupboard and play with myself, because that kind of isolation and solitude, that's calming...  That feels good. I just want to be protected and sheltered, no matter how childish that sounds. I am just a kid. :(

These feelings are outrageous, I know, and I can find no way to reconcile it so mostly I'd just brush them aside till they set in again. Right now it's time to get some exercise to burn off those calories I'd taken to make myself less guilty than I already am (for three rounds of Milo powder), return home, grab a bite and attempt to do some work before travelling back to hall in preparation of a brand new (and tedious) week looking forward to its end, again. For now, see you!