Hiiiiii RTF!

Here's another blog post addressed particularly to YOU again! :D

Oh my goodness, the past few days and hours have been absolutely lethargic... I'm so freakishly tired and brain-dead and completely unmotivated. It's something that hours and hours of undeserved sleep and rest cannot even cure.. School has been utterly depressing and just so annoying it makes me feel like sleeping entire days away just so I can escape from the readings, projects, assignments and other workload. How I wish I was in UK with you and we'd be having so much fun just touring and making our own meals and possibly even baking some pastries over there..! Just imagine it, two girls staying in the same hostel, living in the same timezone, sharing food snacks and even soap/shampoo/moisturizers.. so.much.fun! But school in Singapore is seriously, honestly, sucking the life out of me. I have no idea why, but the past few days have been absolutely draining and headache-causing and I just feel so bothered by everything yet not feel like doing anything at all. The epitome of unproductiveness and procrastination. It feels horrible... Even my body signals to me so.. I can feel my bones cracking incessantly at every angle I twist, and my muscles aching with every movement I make. The soreness at my shoulders rise up to every strand of the hair on my head, and sinks down to the ends of my toes... I just wanna lie away my day and find a reason to feel inspired again. T.T

I might just be having a quarter-life crisis, and it isn't looking like it's ending anytime soon. I ask myself how I can feel so overburdened with work and commitments, yet be so not, relative to my peers. I'm not even taking part in any moot, nor am I actively taking up any household chores or looking after anyone.. Why am I so busy?? Just because I spend some time on the Net a day away from academics and another couple of moments loitering along the hallways or near the field to defrost myself from the freezing interior of the school? Honestly I can't figure out what else I'm doing wrong other than the innate inefficiency of my brain and my slowness to understanding holdings of cases etc etc etc. Times like this I just wanna put my head on the table and crash until the semester ends...... It sucks so much to have so many worries - about finishing (or rather, even starting to research on) my 30%-weighted assignment, keeping up with my extra-curricular projects and chasing after people for their work and submitting mine to the higher-ups, fretting over the possibility of not obtaining any internship at all for summer, worrying about this disobedient ankle of mine who really needs to contribute for Lawmed soccer and netball, keeping up my personal fitness (or at least preventing it from further deterioration) and also, spending sufficient time a day to learn more about God. It doesn't help much that school food is crazily yucky yet exorbitant, the school building is perpetually frozen, and I can't seem to find someone who can study with me to make me feel awake, energized and happy about actually being in school almost all of my life right now.

In a nutshell, my life's kinda a wreck now. Hahaha.

Ohwellllll..., I guess all these nonsense and rambling are meant to hopefully make you feel much better that you are not struggling in the SG education rat race at least not at this point of time, so pleaseeeeeeee (I beg of you) make the best out of it in the UK! Do not surrender to your socially conditioned tendencies to finish up all your readings and attend school studiously every single seminar/tutorial/lecture unless you truly wish to do so, out of your own accord and not your inherent desire not to lose out..? Spend too! Exchange programmes are not mean for you to save, though it helps to make wise purchasing choices. Spend on the necessary good, like I mentioned in the previous post about healthy nutritious food, and also probably necessities like a good sweater or a pretty yet useful pair of boots or whatnot. Just do what you like to do and want to do! Money can be earned back in future, but exchange only happens once! Never ever give yourself any reason or chance to regret everything and anything you should have done and spent on while you are over there alone, independent and free! You can't control what you feel in future, but you definitely can control what kind of experience you want to remember your exchange to be! So, please, if there's anything you wanna take away from this complaint-filled post of mind, please don't focus on the nonsense life I'm living right now, but the things I wish for you to achieve during this travel stint of yours.... Have fun, alright RTF? -- and I mean, SERIOUS FUN! (not the general "oh it was fun" kinda fun.., but the "OMG THIS IS AMAZING SHIT AHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT FUN" kinda fun!)

Live your life, girl! :D


Love yaaaaa ^^
Valencia.